Wrestling Lists

I was wrong. HHH got a stomach ache and the show ended. 0 for 1 in Tumblr predictions.

It’s 10:41 PM EST meaning the main event is coming next. Not sure if he wins the match but McGillicutty will lay out HHH. Possibly taking him out of action. Regardless the night ends with McGillicutty standing strong. 

More of the prediction is the overwhelming tweets coming of “LOL! You smarks say HHH never puts anyone. Look at that!!! Two losses in two nights” basically ignoring a decade of history. But that’s the main prediction.

The story starts. Mr. Anderson apparently calls Angle_HH4Life a stalker for one of his comments. Angle_HH4Life is taken back and confused.

Angle_HH4Life shares his dismay with our Olympic Gold Medalist - Kurt Angle. He’s glad Angle has returned to twitter so he passes along the confusion that is leading him to quit IMPACT WRESTLING. Anderson’s comment bruises the love of the sport to one Angle_HH4Life.

Unaware of what’s happened, Kurt Angle (brother of Eric) reassures Angle_HH4Life that he is a loyal friend and fan. Kurt wants to know what happened so he can right this wrong.

After blasting Anderson “pubically?….”  Angle_HH4Life says he’ll DM Kurt because he doesn’t want things to be shown in a “pubic” light. Angle (sometimes friend, sometimes foe of Wafi Wahidi) gets the “pubic” DM about Mr. Anderson.

Angle states that someone (Mr. Anderson) is “Screwed Up.” He vows to fix things for his friend. The wrestling GOD blesses Angle_HH4Life.

Angle_HH4Life alerts Kurt Angle (once referred to as Kirk Angel) he will “brb” as the kids say when they’ll “be right back.”

Angle_HH4Life returns the next day alerting the original wrestling GOD Hulk Hogan that he wishes  to “ride on Immortal” which can be construed in a very strange way. Just ask the unfortunate ex wife of Bubba the Love Sponge.

With his spirit reinvigorated, Angle_HH4Life takes the fight to Mr. Anderson and Aces & Eights. Implies he wants them to stick their heads up his butt in that they will struggle for air.

Last words from Angle_HH4Life: “Back off bitch” in Guns and Roses song form of course.

In a way, it’s cute and admirable that Angle cares that much about his fans. However he’s the wackiest of the wacky on twitter and provides many tales.  Inspiration for this comes from the Twitter Masters winner Tim Welcomed aka Tim Exiled aka Tim Halpert.

Warning this is a “wacky” list and I’m sure you hate at least half of these matches which makes it even better! I picked matches that I never hear mentioned from Wrestlemania undercard past that I enjoyed in some way. I only judged from WM 9 to WM 28 as I can’t get a full grasp on shows before I was old enough to remember it clearly. Here we go……

10. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit and Rhino  WM 19

I view Wrestlemania 19 as being near to Wrestlemania 17 as the best Wrestlemania of my wrestling fandom lifetime. I’ve always thought the only flaw at 19 was that this match went very short and Triple H vs. Booker T ran VERY long and felt even longer. Pretty good match that could have been even better with a little more time. Everyone in this match was awesome. It is kind of sad looking at these guys today. Obviously the Benoit story. Eddie’s unfortunate death. Funnier part is Haas, Benjamin, Chavo are among the top hated wrestlers on the internet these days, a turnaround from ten years ago. Wow just realized it’s been ten years typing this. Aging is the god damn worst.

9. Hardcore Battle Royal WM 16

This was a fucking mess. And I loved it. I always get a laugh and good time out of watching. Mean Street Posse fighting Kai En Tai and Viscera. Tazz falling from ending Kurt Angle’s undefeated streak in his WWF debut to……. this match. Crash Holly being Crash Holly. And the end coming via JR’s candy bowl. I wish it was a yearly tradition for the jobbers of the roster to have a hardcore match with these rules at WM.  Please watch this match just for Joey Abs hitting Tazz with a cookie sheet until he falls.

8. Owen Hart and British Bulldog vs. Mankind and Vader  WM 13

Always dug this one. Maybe it’s because I tried to do this match with my action figures a few months prior but my motherfucking Vader figure broke within days of purchase. The match was fun and it’s damn cool looking back seeing these four matching up at a Wrestlemania.

7. Steiners vs. Headshrinkers  WM 9

The Steiners brothers are among favorite tag teams of all time with Edge & Christian and The Motor City Machine Guns. In their short WWF tenure as a team, I loved this match as a kid and thought it was the best thing on this show aside from Jim Ross and Bobby Heenan in togas. We should also mention the Steiners WWF theme music is to be listened to many times in ones lifetime.

6. Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka  WM 25

Jericho and Steamboat were awesome. The few minutes they had after Piper and Snuka were eliminated were my favorite minutes of Wrestlemania 25 excluding the Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker classic.  Jericho and Steamboat went on to have another good match on the PPV following. Steamboat showed he’s still better than 70% of the roster. Just think ROH fans…. if not for Ric Flair, CM Punk vs. Ricky Steamboat would have happened in ROH.

5. DDP vs. Christian  WM 18

Cool to see DDP’s sole Wrestlemania match as he was one of my favorite wrestlers growing up. His WWE run was an all time bust due to WWE’s horrible use of him. From stalking Undertaker’s wife to being booked as a borderline jobber during the Invasion to a wacky motivational worker gimmick. The last gimmick worked enough to get the crowd to be into the Wrestlemania match vs. Christian big time but I always thought that happened because Canadian WWE crowds are hardcore wrestling fans and loved DDP based off his past work. Either way he and Christian had a nice little feud and off the top of my head, this was my second favorite match at WM 18 after Hogan/Rock.

4. Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio  WM 27

This match was the definition of putting someone over. Going into this feud, I thought Cody Rhodes was a mediocre talent at best. Then this match happened and I realized how good he was. Rey requested a WM storyline with Cody while Cody was working his niche midcard ceiling gimmick of “Dashing” and the story was Rey broke Cody’s nose so Cody wanted to take Rey’s mask. Added a serious dimension to Rhodes and the match was wonderful and Cody actually got the win. While it isn’t in his classics vs. Eddie Guerrero or Chris Jericho or Edge, I usually view this among the top matches of why I consider Rey Rey a legend and a treasure in the wrestling world that’s unfortunately on his last legs. No pun intended.

3. Christian vs. Chris Jericho  WM 20

It would make total sense that Christian and Jericho would appear multiple times on a list featuring the best midcard or undercard matches. More than any, these two carried the undercard on WWE PPVs for a long time.  This one between the two that I loved. Wrestlemania 20 had two great main events and the spectacle of the Undertaker’s return but the undercard was quite forgetful aside from this one. I actually enjoyed this match as a whole more than Angle vs. Guerrero. I’d rank this second among my favorite Jericho WM matches after the classic one vs Shawn Michaels. Matches being second to HBK seem to be a normal occurrence on here.

2. Kane vs. Raven vs. Big Show  WM 17

Admitting this may be losing a lot of my internet wrestling “cred.” Fuck that shit. Kane did a leg drop off the stage! People went through glass windows. There was a god damn golf cart. Two WWE mainstays facing off with Raven for the hardcore title. Everything about this is beautiful. Whenever re-watching the best ever ever ever Wrestlemania X7, it’s sometimes overbearing seeing some of the great matches again in full knowing you remember every move. This match, I NEVER fast forward. My only wish was that Raven won this match so it would be even more enjoyable. Seriously though, Kane did a fucking leg drop off the stage. In a pointless undercard match! Magic.

1. Randy Savage vs. Crush  WM 10

One of my favorite memories. I attended the closed circuit showing of Wrestlemania X across the street from Madison Square Garden. As a 5 year old, I remembered this much more than anything else on the show. Even more than the ladder match or Bret winning. On a side note, I hated Bret as a kid so Owen winning was also a great memory. Anyways, Randy Savage was probably my first favorite as I remember having his shirt first. Everyone loved Macho Man. But weirder, I enjoyed Crush. I always have. From the early 90s blonde haired Crush to the NOD Crush to his NWO B list debut in WCW to Kronik so this added to it. At the time, of course, hardcore stipulations were very rare and so this was one. The gimmick was where you’d have to get up in a ten count and as a kid, you’re always wanting your favorite wrestler to not only impress you athletically or with his charisma but you root for him to do something ridiculous but intelligent like the finish to this match. If you don’t recall, Savage tied up Crush so he couldn’t stand by the ten count. It was so cool and still is. Another personal memory was Savage coming over to the closed circuit showing right after the match and me losing my shit.

As always, thanks for reading and feel free to tweet me a favorite WM match of yours similar to the ones on this list!

Obviously not a list or comedic intent as usual but felt like sharing this given the sad news that Paul Bearer passed away.

My most memorable early childhood experiences are my dad taking me to most WWF MSG house shows in the mid 90s. Usually the most exciting thing about the shows were Undertaker’s entrances, of course with Paul Bearer. Both absolutely terrified me. I think I was more fearful of Bearer than Taker. Thinking about it logically years after, the idea of playing that character had to be very difficult. To pull it off as well as he did was masterful.

Like most wrestling fans, I would badger my parents into buying so many stupid things. The one I think of most is a WWF foam urn made to look like Undertaker’s urn that Paul Bearer would hold so creepily. I just HAD to have it and by some way, I convinced my parents to get it. At one point, I realized I had the oh so powerful urn that possessed something that controls 7 foot giants. I decided to cut it open with a pair of scissors to find the power of the urn was….. a pebble. A single pebble. As disappointed and peeved as I was as a 4 year old, it became one of my favorite stories of growing up an avid wrestling fan and a memory I still value. 

This is the only photo I could find of the aforementioned WWF foam urn on the internet:

RIP Paul Bearer. Thanks for the memories and entertainment. 

While they claimed it was “for life” or “4 life” in spray paint form, not everyone was remembered in the NWO. If you’ve viewed any of the WWE produced WCW DVDs, you will see that. These are my favorite forgotten NWO members:

1. Scott Norton

Scott “FLASH” Norton was/is THE dude. I still have the dream he will debut in WWE and fuck Ryback up. Looking back with old Nitro watching, Norton fucking up the competition is usually the highlight. I will carry on the belief that if Flash ended Goldberg’s streak and had booking power instead of Kevin Nash, WCW would be alive and  Thunder 13 would be the best wrestling video game ever.

2. The Great Muta

Every human being loves Muta and he looked ridiculously cool with the NWO face paint.  Hard to believe this wasn’t his wackiest WCW angle as he formed a faction with Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse a few years later. Fun fact (or fun assumption since I’m not 100% sure): WCW released one DVD in their history which was a best of DVD in Japan that featured a Muta/ICP match. It’s somewhere on my external hard drive of rare to find illegally downloaded material and I love it.

3. Dennis Rodman

Fuck it all. Rodman was awesome. His repeated elbow drops on The Giant as Giant laid on the mat not moving a muscle is one of the greatest moments in WCW history. At eight years old, basketball and wrestling were the only things I cared about so that Rodman/Hogan vs. Malone/DDP match was heaven for me. Still sour Malone and DDP didn’t win. And let’s be honest… he wasn’t any sillier than Eric Bischoff in his mid life crisis NWO tenure.

4. Syxx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNJuNw-0ysY

As cool as the NWO was, there obviously wasn’t many memorable matches. Or great matches. Or good matches. Aside from Savage (namely vs DDP), not many members provided the “workrate” many of us enjoy. Syxx had a few good ones as did most of the CW division and I may as well list a good wrestler between Dennis Rodman and…..

5. Dusty Rhodes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdZkvZ-APRI

I consider this the most humorous heel turn in wrestling history. Laughter ensues every single time I watch Dusty join the NWO or attempt to do the NWO sign or just stroll around with Scott Hall for a few weeks. Larry Zbyszko’s insults on commentary after Dusty turned on him also added to one of the many underrated joys of watching WCW.

Honorable mentions:
Nick Patrick (had a feud vs. Teddy Long and Chris Jericho…. seriously)

Miss Elizabeth (stayed with the NWO black and white despite Savage going to the Wolfpac because Eric Bischoff wanted to make out with her)

Konnan (great podcaster - mlw.com)

I’m working on the JoeyImage most memorable moments list and hope to have it up by week’s end but here’s something for the sake of not abandoning this page.

These are things Brad Ward (twitter.com/BradOfWar) hates but will never fully admit based off my scientific study:

1. CM Punk

2. TNA

3. Ryback

4. Mike Quackenbush

5. Lance Storm